


Proof

by EldritchSandwich



Series: Blue Moon [6]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Adventure, Chunky Sandwich, Comedy, Gen, Heist, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5640457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EldritchSandwich/pseuds/EldritchSandwich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The crew of Artemis gets a job that, despite being slightly impossible, means a lot of cash. Trouble is, it seems a little familiar...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Proof

Saul's eyes shifted slowly, right to left, taking in the chaos around him. He'd never thought it could get this out of control, but now with every flash of color, every new catastrophe, his hands moved automatically, knife flashing before he even had time to think. And it was all Mona's fault.

No, he corrected himself. It was his fault.

She might have said "Ain't no way you can make a omelette with protein packs," but he just had to prove her wrong.

The last of the freeze-dried vegetables finally thawed, he turned his full attention to the process of mixing them with the slurry of hot water and blended protein. A quick hover with his free hand confirmed that the pan was hot enough, and he began to pour the mixture. It released a hiss and an acrid smell immediately, and Saul growled aloud. He hadn't mixed it well enough; the water was boiling off to fast, and the protein was burning. "Li ni niu yao mo!"

Mona smiled smugly as Saul's increasingly colorful curses echoed down the forward hallway, and Rachel shook her head. "You're gonna be the death o' that poor man, mei mei."

"Yes, Miss Wu."

"You realize we ain't gonna be able to get 'im to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the gorram day?"

"Yes, Miss Wu."

"Hey, Saul, what's wrong?"

"Ding yao mo ai zi!"

As Saul's response followed Dex onto the bridge, Mona began to shake with laughter. "What's his problem?"

Mona cackled, eyes squeezed shut, and Rachel sighed. "Don't even ask. Mona, that wave come through yet?"

The pilot managed to straighten herself out, clear her throat, and almost take on an air of professionalism. "Not yet Miss Wu. He's over…wait." Mona tapped a few buttons and glanced at a side panel. "Incoming now."

The captain took Mona's chair and flicked a switch, then smiled at the small, dirty face looking up at her from the screen. "Spencer Capshaw, you crook. You ain't got yourself shot yet?"

The middle-aged man grinned back. "Good to see you too. Dex, Mona, long time."

"All right, Spence, you give us these rendezvous coordinates by courier, beam a secure channel, what's up?"

Spencer's grin widened. "History."

"So…never?"

Mariah cleared her throat as the Companion leaned in. "Well, not…never ever never, but…not…recently." Daphne nodded thoughtfully. "What?"

"I just figured you and our young mechanic were doing a good job of hiding it." Daphne smiled in spite of herself as a flaming blush crept up the dilettante's cheeks.

"Well, I mean…Dex is…but he doesn't…I mean not that I'd…but we don't…"

"Sorry, sorry. Breathe."

Mariah gulped a breath and nodded. "Where was I?"

"You and Dex are just friends."

"Right. Right…"

Daphne decided to let it slide for now; part of the problem with Companion training was how obvious these things were to her. "Besides, it's not as if you don't have options."

The redhead's gaze drifted to the infirmary door, behind which Leo and Sir Anderson were speaking casually. As Mariah followed, she caught the doctor's eyes as they snapped from her back toward his uncle. She blushed again.

"Just friends with the good doctor, too?"

"Leo's sweet."

The Companion raised an eyebrow. "But?"

"He just reminds me…" She cleared her throat. "There are memories."

Daphne nodded in sympathy, unsure how else to respond. It did seem as if everyone onboard had some bad memories of the Core.

"So…does that mean I can have him?"

Mariah chuckled.

"Stop by next time you're in the world?"

"Bank on it." With a smile and a nod, Spencer's picture blinked from the screen, and Rachel turned to look at her crew.  
Mona let out a breath. "Wow."

"That's one way of puttin' it."

The captain turned from the vid screen. "Dex?"

The mechanic shuffled nervously. "Well, I mean, it's a hell of a job, Rach, but…don't you think it's a little…"

"What? Dangerous? Illegal? Ain't hardly in a position to choose these days, Dex. Fish ain't exactly jumpin' into our boat."

"I was gonna say 'out of our league,' but point taken."

"Oh, come on, we can pull this. We've done heists before," Mona chirped.

"Never done anything this big."

Rachel spun the options around lazily, then made up her mind with a quiet sigh. "Spencer wouldn't steer us wrong."

"When you wanna announce it?"

The captain cast a glance back at the kitchen, where Saul was laying out the miscellaneous cutlery the crew had managed to collect over the past year. "Might as well do it over breakfast. 'Fraid we might need Daphne's help on this one, and I'm sure his lordship'll get suspicious we don't say anything. Best to let everyone know now."

Dex nodded as Saul's grumbling voice snapped over the comms. "Breakfast is served. Come and get it."

As the passengers trickled in from the stairwells, Mona flashed the cook a broad smile as he slopped oatmeal and synthetic bacon onto her plate. "What, no omelettes?"

Saul stiffened. "Bu liang bu you jian," he mumbled as he passed. Mona grinned.

Once everyone was seated and served, leisurely conversations picking up around the table, Rachel tapped a fork against her tea mug. "Can I get everyone's attention, please?" The chattering stopped. "Just want to announce that we got us a job."

Approving murmurs came from some quarters, even among those who wouldn't be paid for it.

"I suppose this isn't a legal job?"

Rachel was ready to strike, but held her tongue when she didn't detect the vitriol that would have accompanied Sir Anderson's question a few months ago. Merely curiosity.

"No." The aristocrat nodded matter-of-factly. "Ain't gonna force anyone to participate, but trust me when I say it'll be worth it."

Mariah took a timid bite, swallowed, then spoke. "Where are we headed?"

"Bellerophon."

"What's on Bellerophon?" Daphne interjected, "Besides, you know, lonely rich men. For whose sake I completely approve of this decision."

Rachel spun the printout of Spencer's data into the middle of the table, giving everyone a good look. "This is the Lassiter. The original laser pistol, one of only two known to still exist.

"We're going to steal it."

* * *

"That's it, I'm out!" Mona pushed herself up from the low table with a grunt.

"Si' down, Mona."

The brunette shook her head as she began to pace across the common room. "As if Bellerophon ain't securitied enough, this guy Haymer's paranoid as a…guy who's real paranoid, see, I can't even think up a decent simile no more! Dex, there ain't no way we're gettin' into that parlor."

The mechanic allowed his head to roll back onto the common area's couch. "Aw, come one, we only been at it…six hours straight. Don't tell me that teenage brain o' yours is givin' up already."

"Hey, you know I like crime as much as the next girl. But why don't you get the Cap'n or Miss Penn to help you with the plan? I jus' try not to crash this thing."

"A service we all deeply appreciate." Mona beamed up at the Companion as she descended the stairs.

"H…hi, Miss Penn. How are you today?" Daphne squirmed a little under the girl's adoring gaze. It had been this way since she'd come aboard and Mona had heard she was a real live Companion, but Daphne was still a mite uneasy about having someone looking up to her. She just smiled.

"I'm fine, Mona. I think Rachel wants you on the bridge."

"That's my cue." Mona slapped Dex's shoulder good-naturedly, then sprinted up the stairs, sparing a final, blushing nod for Daphne. The Companion nodded awkwardly as she went.

"Wei yao." Dex cleared his throat, finding it difficult to look at the redheaded Companion, as usual. "The, uh…the Captain doesn't really need her, does she?"

"I'm sure she will by the time she gets there, but I heard the shouting and I thought you could both use the break."

"Thanks." Dex scrubbed his face with his hands, then felt it heat up as the Companion sat down, like always, just a little too close.

"So, what are we working on?"

"Uh…tryin' to figure on how t' break into a floating island and steal somethin' that's tagged for state-of-the-art security systems at all access points without callin' in a substantial local Alliance presence or gettin' anyone killed."

Daphne noted wryly that he'd managed to say it all in one breath. "Oh. Any way I can help?" The hand that stroked down his thigh as she said it was more an act of reflex than anything. The mechanic began to blush harder.

"Uh…we, uh…was just lookin' for a weak spot…in the system."

"Probably not one of my considerable talents. I could…go get Mariah, see if she'll help you probe for weak spots." Daphne smiled to herself knowingly; no one without ten years of Guild training in body language would have been able to pick out the sudden flaring of the mechanic's already red cheeks. Daphne pulled back from his side slightly. "Or I could ask our dear captain, but I imagine Rachel's answer would just be to blow a hole in the place as a distraction." Daphne chuckled. Then stopped. "What?"

"Blow…" Dex's eyes came back into focus, and he began laughing. Daphne barely registered the sloppy kiss on her forehead before the mechanic was gone, feet clanking on the stairwell leading up toward the engine room. The Companion stared up after him, confusion settling into the silence of the common area.

"Uh…you're welcome?"

"How long 'til we hit Bellerophon?"

"'Bout twenty-four hours, Miss Wu." Rachel nodded and turned from the bridge and emerged into the galley.

"Saul." The big cook nodded cordially, then went back to hacking away at the burnt protein that coated the bottom of his favorite omelette pan.

"Leo, your lordship." The two Chens nodded, and the elder turned his eyes back to the Go board situated between them. The younger stood.

"Rachel. How, uh…how are you?"

"Can't complain. Well, I could…" She nodded absently. "Somethin' you need?"

"No, I just…wanted to make sure. You…couldn't complain."

A corner of the smile made it out before Rachel suppressed it.

Luckily, before she had to speak, the sound of metal fingernails scraping across a chalkboard made of human suffering managed to draw her attention down the aft corridor. When she reached the engine room door to find Daphne and Mariah on either side and Dex hunched over what looked like a giant battery, Rachel stopped. And blinked. And yelled.

"What in the sheng ling yu bu tong is goin' on in my engine room?" It was obvious the mechanic couldn't hear her over the continuing sound of dragging and welding. "Daphne! What the hell is this?"

The Companion shrugged, but was still watching Dex with a blend of fear and amusement. "I don't know, one minute I was insulting you and then he just jumped up and ran in here and started building a…whatever one of those is."

"Well, I'm glad I can serve as a source of inspiration and Dex will you shut that damn torch off and tell me what exactly you are doing?"

"Cap'n what's makin' all that racket…" Mona stopped short as she filled in the remaining space between Mariah and the captain. "Oh, lord, not again. Last time he got a flash o' genius like this I couldn't get no sleep for a week."

Rachel looked at the other women standing in the doorway and sighed. It was going to be a long day. "He comes out to eat, let me know."

* * *

Dex reached for another piece of solder without thinking. He didn't have anything even resembling the right parts to make something like this and actually make it work, but that had never stopped him before. Just like he had done with the truck engine when they'd gotten stranded in the fields after dark, that first time his flair for machines had made itself known.

And just like that first time on the farm, when he finished he looked up and saw a great number of very confused people staring at him. "Dex?"

"Hey…Rach. What're y'all doin' here?"

"Y' got all obsessive again."

"Oh." He nodded matter-of-factly.

"That our secret weapon?"

The mechanic smiled tiredly. "You know it."

Mariah edged nervously into the room, not quite sure whether it was safe to touch whatever it was that the redhead had spent the last four hours constructing. "What does it do?"

"Create a series of highly focused electromagnetic pulses along an arched conduit designed to sync into the estate's distribution network instead of the power supply directly."

Daphne nodded thoughtfully. "Shiny. I've always wanted one of those."

"Dex, pidgin version?"

The mechanic took a deep breath. "Okay. I got a plan…"

* * *

_"Haymer's got tight security on the living compound, but there's one area he didn't think about protectin'."_

Mona eased Artemis up toward the bottom of the spindle that jutted from the floating island.

_"And that's the bottom."_

Knuckles white on the shaking controls, Mona leaned over at a bank of indicators. "Miss Penn, Captain, you're go."

Rachel finished pulling on the harness as Daphne flicked the switches to begin disengaging the Longbow from its dock.

"Roger that, Mona. We're on our way."

The shuttle shook as it disengaged, and Rachel was thrown bodily into her seat. "Careful!"

Daphne shot a quick glance over her shoulder and grinned. "You could always hold onto me for protection."

Rachel rolled her eyes.

_"The power plant for each island is located in the middle of the spindle; we get to that, we can take out power to the alarms, the security, everything."_

_"With that thing you built?"_

_"That's right."_

_"But what about the hoverin'? Doesn't the island need power to not, you know, crash into the ocean?"_

Saul pulled the goggles down tighter over his face, then looked over at Dex. The mechanic, swaddled in heavy clothing and an identical pair of eye wear, nodded.

_"That's the beauty of this kinda EMP. It doesn't hit the generator, it hits the power distribution network that goes up into the residence. 'S like…fryin' all the connections. Won't short out the generator or nothin', so the island keeps flyin' and backup power won't come on line on its own."_

Saul fingered the radio clipped to his jacket. "Mona, we're ready. We in position?"

"Just about!" The pilot spared a glance for the flashing proximity indicators that were trying to convince her what a bad idea this was. "All right, go!"

_"We got however long it takes for them to realize somethin's goin' on. Might be a few minutes, maybe less, so we need to be in position."_

Daphne banked the shuttle up to land nestled in the arched roofing of Haymer's estate. She nodded to Rachel, and the captain pressed a button on the far side of the console. "We're locked in, boys, waitin' for your signal."

Saul pushed Dex's feet off his shoulders and scrambled up onto the ladder at the base of the gently swaying spindle after the mechanic. When they cleared the ladder, Dex turned to seek the older man's confirmation, but saw Saul's eyes squeezed shut.

"Saul?" he shouted into the wind.

"Yeah?"

"The hell you doin'?"

"Uh…I ain't really good with stuff like this."

"Like what?"

Saul finally opened his eyes; an accidental glance down, and he was pressing his back as hard as possible against the thin ledge of the spindle. "Like…this."

Dex squinted. "You're afraid of heights?"

"Course not! That'd be childish." The big man inched closer to the wall. "Just a little afraid of falling."

"You couldn'ta mentioned this before?"

"Didn't seem important."

"It didn't seem important when we were gonna be climbin' up this thing?"

Saul squinted in the mechanic's direction and shrugged. "Oops?"

Rachel fastened the last of the tools to her harness, then looped the cable through. Daphne sauntered over and, before Rachel could convey the guarded body language of her choice, the Companion reached out and took hold of the vest's edges, wrestling it straight. "Have a nice day at work, dear."

Rachel shot her a glare and flicked her radio button. "Dex, you two in position yet?"

"Just…about."

"What's the holdup?"

Dex cast a glance back at the burly bounty hunter inching his way along the catwalk. He shook his head. "We've had some…complications."

"Serious?"

Dex tried to pull down the next ladder; he knew he'd need Saul's help, but the bear of a man didn't look ready to contribute just yet. He sighed. "S'pose it depends on who you ask."

Mona glanced at the flight indicators. "Anything?"

Mariah peered at the various telemetry screens at the copilot's station and shook her head. "No other ships in range."

"Fedband?"

The debutante blinked at her, and Mona smiled. "Federal communications frequency. Bottom left comm panel. Any chatter?"

Mariah looked down. "Oh. No, uh no…chatter."

Mona grinned. "See, we'll have a criminal o'you in no time."

Saul pulled down the next ladder. Dex put one foot on the rung, then turned back to the cook. "You know, I'm curious…"

Saul's eyes narrowed. "Bai nanhaizi, just keep climbin'."

Dex grinned and started up the ladder as a sulking bounty hunter re-shouldered the bag containing Dex's invention and followed after him.

Sir Anderson glanced around at the walls of the galley. "You know I never noticed before, but the floral pattern really does work well with this room."

Leo nodded. "I…think Mona picked it out."

Sir Anderson nodded, let out a breath, and began drumming his fingers against his thighs.

Dex cleared the last ladder to arrive at the round platform surrounding the island's generator. He eyed the maintenance panel in front of him with critical appreciation. "G6 hex bolts, look to be about six inches. Zhen gui de." He held a hand back as Saul pulled himself onto the platform. "Screwdriver."

As the mechanic drilled out the bolts, Saul stared measuredly at the wall. "Captain, we're openin' her up. Stand by for our mark."

"Roger that."

Rachel turned back toward the redhead. Daphne was grinning. "Kiss for luck?"

Rachel met her gaze flatly. "Wouldn't want you to waste any."

The Companion shrugged. "Might come in handy."

"Are you by chance implying something about the general quality of Dex's or my plans?"

"I would never." The Companion lunged forward, placing a brief, almost sisterly kiss on the captain's cheek. "Good luck. Hurry back."

Rachel eyed the Companion warily as the woman's smile grew. Rachel scrambled for her radio. "Dex…"

The access panel dropped to the catwalk with a clang. "All right. Saul, hand me the package."

The cook handed off the device, which Dex immediately began to wire to various seemingly identical locations in the swamp-like maze of wires and cable that surrounded the island's power plant.

"Mariah?"

"Monitoring their power distribution. We'll know when it goes off-line."

Mona nodded. "Artemis is go."

Rachel backed self-consciously toward the airlock. "Longbow is go."

Dex nodded. "All right." He pulled back a safety cover sticking unceremoniously from the side of the device. He flipped the switch.

"Now!"

* * *

Several things happened at once.

A servant looked up into a blinking light fixture as it went dead.

The security guard monitoring the estate's cameras scowled as they winked out.

With a nod from Mariah, Mona flipped on the radio. "It's done. Go!"

Rachel nodded, hooked the line on the harness to the edge of the shuttle's airlock, and shoved the door open.

And Dex blinked.

"Oh, no." Saul's eyes narrowed as he came up behind the mechanic. ""No, no, no nononono…"

"What, what's the—"

Dex's device exploded with a blinding flash, sending him flying as Saul dove for the catwalk.

Mariah practically jumped out of the copilot's seat as the blast flared to life on her monitors. "Whoa! What was that?"

Mona strained to make out the edge of the platform through the top of Artemis' cockpit. "Dex, Saul, what just happened up there?"

Rachel spun herself around in the harness until she could look, upside-down, through the panoramic window of Haymer's parlor; the blood was starting to rush to her head, but she could make out that the room was empty. With a satisfied nod, she twisted back around and began her descent.

Dex tried to tighten his grip, but he could feel himself slipping, both hands trying to find purchase on Saul's straining arm. "Saul! Gorrammit, Saul, I need your other hand!"

But Saul was pressed up against the catwalk plating, eyes squeezed shut. "I can't!"

For a moment, Dex almost forgot his predicament; he had never heard the bounty hunter's voice sound anything like that. But then, his hand began to slip again. "Saul! Wo bu yao qi shi!"

The cook's eyes snapped open and, with a roar, he extended his other arm over the platform to be met by Dex's grasping hand. As soon as he did, his breathing began to quicken, the vast expanse of ocean and the distant hull of Artemis spiraling away beneath him. He swore he could already hear the overwhelming roar of the water echoing in his ears—Dex's desperate pleas to pull him up barely even registered. "Bu neng xi…bu neng xi…"

"Saul!" Dex tightened his grip. "Saul, look at me!" Dex thought he could see Saul's eyes shift. "Ge ge, I need you to pull me up!"

Saul's breathing relaxed as his vision tunneled in on the young man clinging wildly to his grasp. With a determined nod, the cook began to pull.

"That's it, just keep lookin' at me." As soon as Dex's feet began to scrabble for purchase on the underside of the platform, he lurched up , sending them both careening into the spindle wall.

Panting, the mechanic leaned his head back against the cold metal. "Artemis, this is Ground. We're good, we're comin' down." Dex spared a glance for Saul, eyes squeezed shut and practically shaking, beside him. "In a couple o' minutes."

Rachel stopped her descent at the bottom of the window, suspended just above the rolling sea that stretched out beneath the estates. Her hand went for the torch on the equipment belt, then stopped when she noted the panel that had been left open, probably to admit the sea air. She grinned; finally things were starting to look up. She walked across the surface of the window, dropping through the opening and unhooking the rope from the harness. "Mona, how much time we got left?"

The pilot cast a glance at Mariah, who shrugged. "Hard to say, Cap'n. They ain't started bootin' emergency power yet."

Rachel nodded distractedly, her focus already on the pedestal at the center of the room. The weapon was clunky, antiquated, and downright ugly, but the sight of it brought a smile to her lips.

"Saul, you okay?" With a grunt, the cook nodded. "Mona, we're comin' down."

"Roger that. We'll—"

"Mona…"

The teenager turned toward the screen at the tone of Mariah's voice. "Zao wu zhu pei wo men…"

* * *

"Cap'n, we got a problem!"

Rachel winced as the sound of the radio penetrated the silent room. She had the Lassiter in hand, and wasn't too keen on anyone stumbling in on her just now. "What is it?"

"That explosion musta caught someone's attention. We got—"

"Explosion, what explosion?"

"—inbound local security patrol. We're gonna peel off; y'all gotta sit tight 'til we can get back."

Rachel cursed under her breath, then made her way for the window; at least she could get the thing out of the room before the security system came back online.

Dex scrambled over the edge of the platform as Artemis began to pull away from them. "Mona, what the—"

"We got inbound, gotta make ourselves scarce for a while. You two find somewhere to lay low for now."

The cook ground his teeth and cast a glance over at the mechanic. " There maintenance access?"

"Yeah, but that's where they're gonna be comin' through to figure out what's wrong down here. Any second now."

Saul shrugged. "Least it'll get us up into the estate, maybe find the captain."

Dex couldn't help but notice that Saul had said all this with his eyes squeezed firmly shut. He sighed. "Follow me."

She was so close. Rachel had her hand on the windowsill when she heard the telltale sounds of a cleaning crew rattling their way up the hall. By the time she had tossed the rope out the window and returned the pistol to its perch, she only had time to squat down behind a giant wooden box for…well, to be honest, she didn't know what half the Earth-That-Was artifacts in the room were for. As the two uniformed maids entered the room, their chatter caught her attention.

"…heard that they're thieves or something."

The older maid snorted. "Thieves? Wo you huai yi, who'd be stupid enough to try to rob Mr. Haymer?"

"Well I heard it was them knocked the power out. Don't know what they were tryin'."

"Didn't work, whatever it was. Came right up into the maintenance section."

"What d'you think Mr. Haymer's going to do with 'em?"

"Turn 'em over once security gets here, like as anything."

As the maids finished their half-hearted rounds and bustled out of the room, still chatting, Rachel peeked out and cast one final despairing glance at the priceless artifact and the open window. She sighed. "Great."

* * *

Daphne jumped up from the pilot's seat as she heard the frantic banging on the shuttle's airlock. As soon as she opened it, a flustered Rachel tossed the blocky object of their larceny into her hands. "Keep that here. Dex and Saul got pinched tryin' to get outta harm's way. I gotta go back in and fetch 'em before the Feds get here. Stay here; I want you ready to fly us outta here when Artemis comes back. Wish me luck."

The captain slammed the door shut behind her, and Daphne stood in the middle of the shuttle, the priceless artifact hanging from her fingers. She blinked. "Uh…good luck."

Dex ran his hands carefully over the edges of the device's surface, muttering to himself. The panels were well-assembled, but there were a few spaces where he could feel the tickle of static from the circuitry inside. A brilliant smile lit his face as he flipped open the control panel, mentally calculating the number of possible AI routing algorithms. He reached out, longing to press just one button, and Saul scowled. "The hell you doin'?"

The mechanic suddenly cleared his throat. "Sorry." He turned around in the cramped quarters. "But, I mean, this thing's a marvel o' modern technological frivolity. You have any idea the kind of cross-typing you need to work out—"

"Ai ya!" The former bounty hunter bound to his feet, a dangerous look filling his eyes. "We're locked…in a broom closet…about to get turned over to the Feds…and you're havin' an affair with the Gorram vacuum cleaner!"

Dex looked at Saul as if the cook had just stabbed him. "Saul, it ain't a vacuum cleaner. It's a full-fledged DML-21-type household assistant. This thing could clean the entire manor unsupervised, the algorithmic detection's sharp enough for it to pick up the—"

"Can…it get us…out of this room?"

"No." Saul raised his eyebrows, and the redheaded mechanic sighed and resigned himself to leaning back against the trash-can-sized robot's side. "Hey, I ain't the one got us into this."

"Oh, I beg to differ. Your little doodad didn't blow up, we wouldn't've had to make a run for it."

"Oh, that's so typical, blame me 'cause you're sore that I told you they'd be comin' down through the maintenance tunnels, and that's exactly what they were doin'…"

"A problem we never would have had to confront if your stupid plan had worked and we'd gotten back on Artemis like we were supposed to."

"My stupid plan?"

"Your stupid, xiaoxue plan."

"Xiaoxue? You know, just because you ain't—"

"Hey!" The bolt on the door clicked open as the bedraggled security guard who had been entrusted with them poked his head into the room. "Will you two shut up already?"

The two men cleared their throats.

"Sorry."

"Sorry."

* * *

"How we lookin', Mariah?"

"We're clear. Patrol boat's heading toward the estate. I hope everybody's all right."

"I'm sure they're fine. We just gotta lay low 'til…"

"Wait." Mariah tapped the screens in front of her. "Something's coming up from behind…local security."

Mona cursed under her breath, and Mariah found herself momentarily wondering where exactly the teenager had learned such uniquely colorful language. Then, the pilot leaned back on the controls.

"Can't we outrun them?"

"Not if we want to be able to get back to the Cap'n in time."

Mariah sighed, but nodded. "They're hailing us."

"Who is?"

The two women started at the voice, but then Mona caught Mariah's eye. They turned to Sir Anderson, perched nervously on the edge of the bridge, and smiled.

Rachel pressed her back against the wall as another pair of servants passed, and weighed her options. She could jump a maid and steal a uniform, of course, but then she'd have to keep said maid out of the picture for as long as it took to find and spring Dex and Saul. She could keep sneaking, but that got more and more dangerous the further down into the servant-filled lower areas of the estate she got. Or, she thought with a sudden sardonicism, she could just leave the two idiots to get pinched.

She sighed. Maybe there was a linen closet somewhere down here where she could lift a uniform.

"I apologize for our rudeness, your Lordship. While we are constantly expanding the number of estates on Bellerophon, we haven't had many new solicitations lately."

Sir Anderson shook his head. "It is I who should apologize. I would have waved and set up an appointment, but my ship was in the area on unrelated business and I thought it a good opportunity to…come and appraise your offerings."

The rest of Artemis' ersatz crew held back, Mariah and Mona staring on in abject shock while Leo merely smiled pleasantly. "I can't believe my eyes."

"He's…great."

Leo shrugged. "He is a barrister. What did you think he was good at?"

Mona glanced up at the doctor's handsome face and bit her lip. "I don't think you want me to answer that."

Mariah bit back a laugh. "Shouldn't someone be back on the boat so we know when the…others…need us?" The diminutive pilot cast the dilettante a pleading glance, eyes darting meaningfully over to the young doctor. Mariah sighed. "Fine. See you back here."

Mona grinned, dragging the bemused nobleman toward his uncle and the beaming agent showing him around the model island, and Mariah shook her head, chuckling, as she walked back toward the ship perched on the estate's edge.

"Mr. Haymer."

As soon as Rachel heard the voice, she froze. Peering around the next corner, she caught sight of a liveried guard standing before a rather unassuming man in young middle-age. Her eyes narrowed.

"Sir, a Federal patrol boat is inbound. They should be here in about ten minutes."

Haymer nodded just as another guard jogged into the corridor. "Thank you."

"Sir! We've finished the sweep. We haven't found anyone else, but the Lassiter's gone. Theses two must have been working with someone else."

The nagging feeling in the back of Rachel's head grew worse when Haymer seemed to take the news with almost eerie coolness. "Search the grounds."

"Yes, sir."

The guards tromped down Rachel's end of the hallway, barely giving her enough time to slink back against the wall. She cursed under her breath.

"All right, we can start fighting again, maybe get him to come back in, then we can take him out," Saul muttered under his breath.

"Right." Dex nodded. "We weren't fighting, though. I mean, we had a mild and perfectly—"

"Yeah, just like that."

Dex shrugged. "Dui."

"Okay…" Saul's eyes shot toward the door as it shuddered on its hinges, then inched open to let the security guard drop against the floor. Rachel looked at them expectantly.

Dex cleared his throat. "Hey, Rach. We were just comin' to meet up with you."

"Let's go. We gotta get back to Daphne now."

Saul narrowed his eyes. "Problem?"

Rachel sighed. "There's about to be."

* * *

Sir Anderson's eyes followed lazily as the agent pointed out the various amenities inherent to owning one's own flying island: security, the gardens, indoor/outdoor swimming pools…the nobleman smiled. Despite the fact that he was acting, he couldn't help but surrender himself to the salesman's pitch; for a moment, he could almost imagine he was back on the Core. Before he and his nephew had had to brave the frontier, he would have looked down on backwater imitation-Core planets like Bellerophon and their vain pretensions of civility. Now, he admitted, he finally saw the attraction.

"So tell me," he interrupted the sales agent's excited jabbering, "what sort of acreages do you offer?"

An arm jerked out, and the passing security guard flipped limply onto his back. Saul stepped into the corridor, looked down at the crumpled form, nodded, and began walking. As she followed, Rachel looked beneath her at the guard. "Explain to me why we couldn't just sneak around the guards?"

Dex cleared his throat as he funneled into the hallway behind her. "I think Saul's got some unresolved aggression to…well, resolve."

Rachel shot a look back at her mechanic. "This your fault?"

"Let's just say I'm glad he ain't resolvin' it at me," Dex muttered.

"I swear, if it ain't one thing…"

"Uh, Rach?" The captain, then Saul in front of her when he realized no one was following him, turned around to face the Cortex screen Dex was pointing at. Across if flashed the words 'Federal Override: No Access from Secondary Terminals.' Rachel swore to herself.

"Great."

"Mona…"

The teenage pilot pulled back from Sir Anderson's increasingly high-profile tour of the model estate and drew her radio from her belt. "Yeah, Mariah, what is it?"

"I've got Fedband chatter. I think they've landed on Haymer's estate. The captain…"

"Don't you worry, Miss Wu knows how to dodge the Feds better'n anyone. But we better get in the air. You remember how to do the preflight?"

"Uh…I think so."

"Okay. We'll be right there." Mona clipped the receiver back to her belt and squared her shoulders, pushing through the crowd of salespeople and consultants who were all but planning Sir Anderson's new summer home. "Your Lordship? Boss!" Sir Anderson finally turned down toward her. "We're just on schedule, sir."

The nobleman blinked, uncomprehending; Mona held his stare until his eyes finally widened in recognition. "Oh, yes! Of course. I'm terribly sorry, but we're on schedule. We really must make our appointment on Verbena."

The original sales agent nodded. "Of course, Your Lordship. Would you like to take a brochure?"

As the three of them exited the estate and walked back toward the ship as fast as they could without looking suspicious, Mona turned toward Sir Anderson, who sighed. "I do apologize. I shouldn't have gotten so caught up…"

Mona shook her head in wonder. "Ain't got nothin' to apologize for…Your Lordship."

* * *

They were almost to the parlor door when they heard the telltale warmup of the sonic rifles behind them. "Federal marshals, freeze!"

"Really don't!" Rachel hissed, rolling into the parlor to take cover behind the pillar that had once held the Lassiter as the first round of sonic fire buffeted the room. "Dex, door!"

"On it!"

The mechanic scrambled across from one side of the door to the other, fingers scrambling at the door controls. As soon as they slid shut, he pried open the panel, crossing wires more by instinct than any conscious effort to figure out where they went. "Don't know ho long we got!"

Rachel scrambled to the window where thankfully, the end of the line she had used for her entry was still concealed amidst the ornamental bushes lining the outside.

"Up to Daphne, go!"

Dex was the first up, half pulling himself up the surface of the window, half being pushed up by Saul behind him. Rachel slammed the window shut behind her, scrambling up the line as the Feds overrode the door and burst into the room. The team leader glanced around at the empty room just as Rachel's legs disappeared over the eaves. "Sir, this is Beta. We've lost them."

Daphne pulled open the airlock, grinning at the bedraggled trio who entered the shuttle. "Hey team, how's the escape going?"  
Saul and Rachel's glares made even the gregarious Companion's smile falter. "Right. Flying, not talking."

Rachel moved in behind the pilot's seat as Daphne eased the shuttle out of the fluted architecture of the estate and into the open air on the far side of the landing platforms where the Feds had come down. "Keep us low, and as soon as we're out of range hail Artemis. We gotta get off this planet while the gettin's doable."

Mariah glanced at the sensor readings flashing across her console. "Nothing. We're clear. Longbow's on approach."

"Right. Miss Penn, this's Mona. You ready to bring that shuttle into the bay?"

"How I make my living."

Mariah rolled her eyes even as she blushed.

A few moments later, Rachel's voice sounded over the comm. "We're locked, meimei. Take us outta atmo."

"Yes, ma'am."

As the Companion unstrapped herself from the pilot's seat of the shuttle, Rachel spared her a brief smile. "Not a bad day at all."

* * *

It was night on the empty moon where Capshaw had set up the meet with his buyer; Rachel glanced at the sliver of stars visible through the open cargo bay ramp and sighed. Not only had they pulled off the crime of the century, they'd gotten away scot-free. It was one of those occasions when fortune just seemed to be smiling on them. Rachel took a deep breath as she silence settled around them. "Where the hell is he?"

"Comin', ma'am. Spotted a leased boat leavin' orbit just when we got here. Must have put down a ground team—"

All conversation ceased as the familiar rumbling of a mule drew closer. Rachel relaxed as the familiar form of Spencer Capshaw got off, followed by two gun hands and—"Zao gao, Spence you two-timing snake!"

Confusion reigned when Rachel drew her gun, Dex, Saul, and Spence's crewmen all following in her example. Capshaw cast a glance around the group. "Rach, what the hell you doin' pointin' a piece at my buyer? I mean, I know you like to negotiate, but gorram, girl…"

"Buyer?" Rachel blinked. Could it be that Spencer honestly didn't know? "Spence, that's…"

The man stepped forward. "Don't worry, Captain. I'll be paying you everything you've been promised."

Rachel blinked again as the events of the day began to slip into place. She groaned. "Guess that's only fair, seein' as you had us steal it."

Dex glanced at the unassuming man before them in confusion. "Rach, you…know this guy?"

Capshaw squinted. "You know, I's just about to say the same thing."

Rachel holstered her sidearm, almost laughing. "Ladies and gentlemen, this here's the man we just stole from."

As a tide of shocked eyes turned toward him, Haymer bowed.

Mona's eyebrows scrunched. "You had us steal from yourself?"

Haymer shrugged. "No better way to test my new security system. I must admit, your and Mr. Capshaw's price is more than worth the number of advancements my people have been able to make after your ingenious work." Haymer nodded conspiratorially to Rachel. "Far better than any security consultant could ever do."

As the confused looks continued around her, Rachel just started to laugh.

With a generous sum of platinum and Haymer's invitation to 'stop by again sometime,' Rachel leaned against the cargo bay stairs as Mona guided the ship from the small moon back into the black. The metal jingled as Saul slid back to stand next to her, and she smiled. "Well that was a hell of a thing."

Saul nodded. "Suppose so."

"I mean, we stole the unstealable, made a boatload of cash, but nobody actually got stole from. Everybody went away happy." Rachel shook her head in amazement. "Don't mind when that happens." At the cook's distracted nod, Rachel looked over. "You okay, Saul?"

The big man shifted. "Yes, sir. Just…yes, sir." He pushed off from the stairs, walking ponderously out across the cargo bay.  
He was getting too old for this.

And sooner or later that could get one of them killed.

Saul looked back over the interior of the ship, sloping gracefully away from him, and sighed.


End file.
